Pain Redefined
by Gabs
Summary: I have fallen again, this is the end...


Pain Redefined

**Disclaimer**Not mine, don't sue cause I'm so totally M16 qualified like whoa.

A/N: weeeeeird… first time I've written a fic in 7 months. :o Wow. K, anyway. This is for the SD-1 Sept '05 challenge, the elements of which are…

The quote: "Time is everyone's enemy."  
2. Twilight  
3. A police siren

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shaking, burning up with the fever/in the realm of pain I am the deceiver/now I lie to myself so I can believe her/as she disassembles my life

A glint of silver… so beautiful. So lethal. So final. You admire the new gun in your hand. Not a single bullet has ever been fired from it. No… that honor, that first- and last- round this weapon will ever fire is reserved for him.

You tilt your head back, staring at the deep night sky. You'd like to think he doesn't even know you're coming for him, but you're fully aware that to convince yourself of that would be a fatal flaw. He betrayed you; he's far too smart to believe he can get away with that unscathed.

Thinking back on ancient mythology, always a favorite subject, you recall that in many lands, the downfall of the Gods was known as their twilight. You nod in approval; this is to be his twilight. He has betrayed many in his life, in his career; his undoing will be committing treason against you. You gave him everything you had; you worked with him, joined forces with him, trusted him. And in the end, he threw it all away. You close your eyes wearily; you didn't want it to happen this way. But while he likes to view himself as immortal, untouchable by the CIA or anyone else, you are going to prove him wrong. He will not get away with betraying Julian Sark. Your revenge will be swift, and it will be tonight.

"One shot, one kill," you whisper as you open your eyes and take the first fatal step across the street. You easily make it to the door, and use the key he long ago gave you to let yourself in. Hearing the doorknob, the butler rushes in, looking surprised to see you. His surprise rapidly changes to horror as your knife buries itself in his chest. He topples to the floor, and you frown; you always liked him.

"A necessary evil," you suppose as you carry on. Then you hear it; hurried, quiet footsteps in the next room, the sound of a phone being lifted, three short numbers dialed. You frown, having a good idea as to who it is. You move into the room silently, pulling another knife as you slide up behind him. With one swift motion, he is on the ground, clutching his throat. You slowly hang up the phone and turn to the stairs. Briefly, you turn back.

"I never really cared for you," you inform the lifeless body of the chef. "Horrible alfredo." With this, you proceed to make your way upstairs quietly, no fear of further interruption. He has no guards in the house itself; all are positioned outside, and you have seen them in action: well trained, capable of stopping any intruder.

Except you.

You didn't kill the guards; no, worse, you slipped right past them, never being noticed. It would be hours before they realized they'd been duped, and with such ease.

You approach his office slowly, not surprised to still see light illuminating from within. Pausing in the doorway, you quickly locate him working at his computer. He soon looks up as he feels your presence. His eyes hold mild surprise; most would never detect this, but you know him better than anyone. The look confuses you briefly; Iwhat kind of game is he playing at now/I

"Julian, I wasn't expecting you until Saturday. What are you doing here… at midnight?"

"Bringing the twilight upon you," you say quietly. His eyebrows draw in, obvious confusion now written on his face.

"What are you talking about?" You sigh lightly; you've never been a big talker, but you've trusted him for years now… you can open up for him one last time.

"In all my life, you're the first person I've ever trusted to any level. Did you know that? Not my parents, not Allison, not even Lauren." He remains silent, waiting for you to continue.

"Even when you and I first met, it wasn't off to a promising start… do you recall that?" He nods quietly. "I've long viewed our first fateful meeting as a turning point in my life; from that, I certainly never expected to trust you as I do now. Amazing how 10 years changes things." A slight smile creases his face. "All this time that you and I have been partners, I have always trusted you completely."

"I've never given you reason not to," he interjects.

"Yes, that's true," you say thoughtfully. "But time is everyone's enemy, and as they say, there's a first time for everything." Unflinching, you raise the gun and fire the single shot. Seconds later, he drops from the chair, hitting the floor with an audible thud. You move to the desk and stand over him, listening as he gasps for his final breaths.

"Julian… why?"

"Because I trusted you, and you betrayed me. You took my faith and used it against me. It almost destroyed me. But thanks to you, I've learned my lesson well, Arvin… I will never trust anyone, ever again." You kneel at his side, your harsh glare boring into his pained eyes.

"I nev… never betrayed you, Julian."

"Spare me," you whisper coldly. He gasps for one last breath, his final reserve of strength now depleted.

"Julian…" his voice fades, as he dies with your name on his lips. It seems somehow appropriate.

Standing up, you eye the files on his desk. Curiosity overwhelms you and you decide to search, to find the evidence you know must be there somewhere. Dropping the gun onto his still chest, you sit down and begin digging through the papers.

15 minutes later, the sickening truth strikes home. Yes, you were betrayed… but not by Arvin. He told the truth; your trust in him was never misguided. Your heart constricts as you look as his body, dead at your ruthless hand. You drop the files and knee next to him again, carefully touching a hand to his face.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper. "I'm the one who betrayed you… I'll never forgive myself for this." You smooth back his thinning hair, feeling a new wave of pain… how could you believe the lies? How could you allow yourself to be deceived like this? She had betrayed you; you realize that too late. Once again, Irina Derevko had used you to her own advantage. She would be the next to die, you vow to yourself and to his memory.

Hearing the wailing of sirens – police, ambulance, fire – in the distance, you touch his cheek one last time before standing up and making as stealthy an exit as you can. You know you left evidence, but it makes no difference… they will never find you.

With one last glance back at what you've destroyed, you forge ahead with a new mission. Yes, time is everyone's enemy, and now, time has just run out on Irina Derevko. She will be next, no matter what the cost.

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Please believe me/that the world deceives me/don't stand me up, just leave me/I have fallen again/this is the end/pain redefined…

So there we have it. I'd have preferred longer, but hey, 7 months off? I'm rusty like whoa, hooah. :p Thanks for reading!


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